Chim chim cheroooooo

It was so disappointing. I’d booked a chimney sweep fully expecting a sooty-faced, chirpy, cockney scoundrel to show up. Instead I got Bob who was dressed like a Ninja. I’m not dissing Bob. He was great. Didn’t even mind when I asked him to temporarily turn off the hoover he was using, in order for me to do a voice over. ‘Voice over? That’s the weirdest job ever’ he said to me. And in the next breath, ‘actually I could do with a telephone message’. ‘No probs,’ I said. ‘I’ll do it. No charge’. Twenty minutes later I was stood on my doorstep battling with Bob’s tempremental mobile phone. Yeah that’s right. My doorstep. Whatever happened to that super swish London recording studio? The type of place that serves up trays of teeny weeny trendy sandwiches. Can you get ‘trendy’ sandwiches? Anyway whatever…you don’t get them on my doorstep! Eventually I recorded the message. “I’m impressed’ he said. ‘I’m not just a chimney sweep you know. I’ve got other businesses too. Bouncy Castles. Pest Control.’ Bob appeared to be hinting at future work. I gave him my card. Networking and a clean chimney. I am seriously living the dream.